Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is absolutely any form of undesired sexual behavior. Period.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. Most victims and perpetrators know each other. Immediate reactions to sexual abuse include shock, fear or disbelief. Long-term symptoms include anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder. While efforts to treat sex offenders remain unpromising, psychological interventions for survivors — especially group therapy — appears effective.
Sexual abuse is abusive sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another. When force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault.
Sexual abuse is not solely perpetrated by adult males. Women can also commit acts of sexual abuse, as can other children.
Sexual abuse is absolutely any form of undesired sexual behavior. Period.
Child sexual abuse
“Involves forcing or enticing a child or young person to take part in sexual activities, not necessarily involving a high level of violence, whether or not the child is aware of what is happening.”
Sexual Abuse by a family member
If you’ve experienced sexual abuse by a family member you are not alone — and what happened to you is not your fault. While it may be difficult to talk about, you should know that this is an issue that impacts many people. The majority of juvenile victims know the perpetrator, and approximately 34 percent of perpetrators in cases of child sexual abuse are family members.1
What is incest?
The term incest refers to sexual contact between family members. Laws vary from state to state regarding what constitutes crimes of incest, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, and rape. Regardless of state laws, unwanted sexual contact from a family member can have a lasting effect on the survivor.
Why is it difficult to tell someone about sexual abuse by a family member?
It can be difficult for an individual to disclose sexual assault or abuse when they know the perpetrator. It can be especially difficult if the perpetrator is a family member.
What can keep a victim of sexual abuse by a family member from telling someone?
They may care about the abuser and be afraid of what will happen to the abuser if they tell.
They may also be concerned about other family members’ reactions, fearing they won’t be believed or will be accused of doing something wrong.
They may have already tried to tell someone what happened, but the abuse was ignored or minimized.
They have been told by the perpetrator that what is happening is normal or happens in every family, and they don’t realize that it is a form of abuse.
They may not know that help is available, or they don’t know who to trust.
They may be afraid of getting in trouble for telling, or that the abuser will follow through with threats.
How to help someone who has experienced sexual abuse
If you suspect a child is being harmed, talk to the child directly using these conversation tips.
If the victim is a minor or a vulnerable adult, you can report it to Child Protective Services, the Department of Human Services, or the police. In some instances, you may be required to report by law. Learn more about mandatory reporting laws from RAINN’s State Law Database.
If someone tells you that they have been abused, take their words seriously. Let them know you believe them, and thank them for coming to you. Learn more about how to respond to a survivor.
If you are a child, tell an adult you trust who isn’t a member of the victim’s family, like a teacher, faith/religious leader, or a family friend.
Where can I find support for sexual abuse?
If you have experienced sexual abuse by a family member, you may encounter a range of short and long term effects that many survivors face. You may face additional issues related to your sense of safety and trust because this type of abuse often disrupts your primary support system—the family. The people who were supposed to protect and care for you may have caused harm or allowed the harm to continue.
Understanding Sexual Abuse
Sexual assault and sexual abuse can be disastrous for mental and physical health. Survivors have an increased risk of depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and substance use disorders. The pros say people can experience the devastating mental health effects of sexual abuse weeks, months, and even years later.
People may encounter sexual abuse in a variety of situations—with a stranger at a party, at your place of work, with a long-term romantic partner. Regardless of the situation, one thing is always true: it is never ever the victim’s fault.
Surviving sexual abuse is not a linear process. One day, you can wake up feeling totally fine. Then, BAM. You see or hear something that reminds you of the assault. That is how trauma works. Anytime, anywhere, out of nowhere—back to square one. And, that is the thing about surviving: over time, with the right help, you can unlock the tools you need to not only survive, but also to thrive. Because, you deserve love and compassion. Your body deserves to be safe. And, there are so many people (including us!) ready to help you make that happen.
Signs and Symptoms
First of all, if you have been sexually assaulted or abused, we believe you and we are so sorry this happened to you.
Sexual abuse is any and every unwanted sexual experience with the intention of displaying power. Often, survivors show no outward indications of sexual abuse and do not have any physical injuries. Here are some signs of sexual abuse, if you think it might have happened to you:
Unwanted touching
Rape
Someone forcing you to perform sexual acts
Refusal to use protection and contraception
Taking advantage of you while you are incapacitated (drunk, under the influence of drugs, or otherwise unable to give consent)
Emotional manipulation (threatening to break up with you) to force sex
Finding Help If You’ve Been Sexually Abused
When you have been so intimately violated, it can feel hard to let someone into your life again. You deserve love and compassion. And, there are so many people here to support you.
Here are a few places to turn for help:
Reach out to a friend, family member, or mentor. Nobody should have to go through their hard stuff alone. If you are feeling vulnerable or scared, identifying even one person who can have your back can make a big difference in your recovery.
Get medical attention. If you have been sexually abused, it is important to consult a doctor to ensure that you are physically healthy. This can include attending to any injuries and check for any STIs you may have contracted from your abuser. If you are concerned about finding alone, people at RAINN have compiled a list of sexual assault advocacy organizations that can help you find an advocate in your area.
PRO-TIP: Timing is everything. If you have been raped, it is particularly important to get medical attention ASAP. A medical provider can help collect any evidence necessary should you want to take legal action in the future by collecting a “rape kit.” This includes attending to any immediate injuries and a head-to-toe examination to collect any DNA samples that may have been left by your abuser. It is your body and you are entitled to stop or pause at any time during the exam. You’ve got the power.
Myths About Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is complicated and happens more than you might think. We are here to bust some myths about how, when, and why it happens.
MYTH: Sexual abuse usually happens by a stranger.
TRUTH: Eight out of ten rapes are committed by someone the victim knows personally.
MYTH: They would not have been raped if they were wearing different clothes.
TRUTH: Someone’s appearance is never an invitation for sexual attention and is never consent. Consent only happens one way: when both parties say “yes.”
MYTH: Only women are sexually abused.
TRUTH: Men experience sexual abuse, too. One out of every ten rape victims are men.
Preventing Sexual Assault
Here’s some good news: sexual violence has fallen by more than half since 1993. This is a great sign that we are moving in the right direction to help keep people safe. There is still more work to do.
Here are a few things you can do in your community to prevent assault:
Check-in with your friends. If you have a friend who has a sudden shift in mood, ask them about what is going on in their life. By making the first move, you could help them get out of or process a difficult situation.
Share resources with the people you love.
Challenge social norms. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. To end sexual violence in our communities, we need to teach people that sexually violent behavior is never okay. Have the hard conversations with the people in your life and help them see why sexually predatory behavior is unacceptable.
Recovering from Sexual Abuse
Recovering from sexual abuse may take time. And, it is a process that will likely take revisiting at many points in your life. If you are a victim of sexual assault, know that surviving—and thriving—is possible. There are tools and resources available to help you process what has happened and how to recover.
Here are a few ways to get started in your recovery:
Talk.
Start with self-care. Maybe you try meditating or getting some fresh air. Make time to do the things that help you feel re-centered so that you can process what has happened to you.
Connect with a pro. Find a therapist to help you process what has happened. There are pros trained specifically to help victims of sexual assault. Find someone who works for you. You do not have to do this alone.
Safety plan. Considering most victims know the perpetrator of abuse, it is important to make sure you have plans in place to keep yourself safe. This could include finding a friend to crash with, creating a code word for when you are in danger, and telling someone you trust about what is going on.
